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Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Not a chauvinist, but first post I came across about men...

A man only needs to be:

1. A friend 2. A companion 3. A lover 4. A brother 5. A father 6. A master
7. A chef 8. An electrician 9. A carpenter 10. A plumber 11. A mechanic
12. A decorator 13. A stylist 16. A psychologist 17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist 19. A healer 20. A good listener 21. An organizer
22. A good father 23. Very clean 24. Sympathetic 25. Athletic 26. Warm
27. Attentive 28. Gallant 29. Intelligent 30. Funny 31. Creative 32. Tender
33. Strong 34. Understanding 35. Tolerant 36. Prudent 37. Ambitious 38. Capable
39. Courageous 40. Determined 41. True 42. Dependable 43. Passionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

44. Give her compliments regularly 45. Love shopping
46. Be honest 47. Be very rich 48. Not stress her out
49. Not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, MUST ALSO:

50. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

53. Never to forget:
* Birthdays
* Anniversaries
* Arrangements she makes

&

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:

1. just Leave him alone

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

A new city again!!!

It was the last week of june, summer was at its peak in my native place. I took a train that takes me to hyderabad, yeah I am going to hyderabad where I was supposed do my internship. I was offered internship at Health management and research institute(HMRI), in their web development team. I dont know much about web development or what it is except for some vague idea we get from the name.
Next morning I woke up in Hyderabad station, also known as nampally station. I came out and was flocked by a group of auto-walas trying to impress me. They wanted their boni(first business in the morning) to be good and so they started quoting only round figures some of which actually shocked me. I am not used to these kind of places in my native place, where you give 30 rs to an auto wala and he can drop you at the other end of the city. One autowala looking decent than others approached me as I cleared my way through the greedy autowalas and said " kidhar jaana hai sir". I said "KPHB". He said "250 sir". I could see the meter in the auto and asked why he doesnt take me on auto fare. He said "Early in the morning sir, we take 1 1/2 times. Jaana hai?". Slowly calculating the approximate distance it could be from nampally to kphb and at the same time being cautious that they might spot me to be an outsider, I said " 50 rs istha". He took a deep breathe " mazaak kar rahe ho? idhar se kphb pachaas rupaye? ....". I couldn't make out what he was murmering in the end. I couldn't understand the hyderabadi hindi he was speaking which is a mixed breed between hindi, urudu and telugu.
Finally one autowala took me to my destination for the meter price which was around 150. I paid him and he left. For the first few days I did nothing but take rest, eat and sleep.
My office was in RTC crossroads which was around 14 Km from the place I stay. On the first day when I came out on the road, I didnt know what bus to take, where the buses would stop, where I am supposed to get down. For the first few days I had to take autos which were costly compared to my native place. HMRI a so called private company with all the features of a govt office, except that the building is all centrally air conditioned and there is a strict security.
Office was really good, but for me and my friend vikas who was another intern along with me, office sucked. We were waiting near the receptionist lobby, where a couple of chairs were put for the visitors. We had to wait there, and occasionally would get the chance to sit. Finally we were allotted a place, we were put in a team where they were doing some assembly or modifications(whatever you might call) to some electronic equipment. We being from a software background couldnt make head or tail of it. So daily we would give attendance and go to the first floor of the building where a room has been allocated to the PS1 students from our campus. They were given a good room with AC and internet. And I could see any bitsian boy/girl given these facilities can make the most of them. They started playing AOE on lan from morning to evening. So even I joined them in their pursuit of proper usage of net. This happiness didnt last long, before even we could contribute in their pursuit whole heartedly, they had to leave. Somehow managed to crawl through the time and as the days passed slowly, they told us that we are going to another branch not very far from the main branch but a place where only software team would be there and that we were to be put in a web development team.
So by now I was able to findout how to reach my office with min cost, "The MMTS". First day when I took the mmts from hitech city station to lakdi ka pool, I was crushed and I feared a bone or two might have been broken. So I strongly decided to go by first class even though the ticket is a bit expensive, how expensive? "Expensive by 25 times". Normal ticket was 2Rs and first class ticket costed 50Rs. I was travelling now in first class from hitech city to lakdi ka pool, and from there took an auto that costed me 20 bucks. Still this is costly. After first couple of days, the girl in the counter said, "sir you can take a first class pass if you are travelling between the same points daily". Thus I started travelling wisely at a far cheaper price....To be contd....

Nine Important words you need to learn

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Beware of the truth!!

Once a rich man bought a robot, which slaps everytime someone lies. One day this man asked his son, "Son, whats your position in your class?", son replied" always first daddy". Immediately the robot stepped forward and slapped the boy, dad said" See when I was your age I always came first", again robot came and slapped the dad. Son started laughing loudly seeing this. Mom not knowing whats knowing there, comes and says" Son you shouldn't laugh at your dad like that". Immediately robot slaps her.... :P :P :P

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Men are Men!!!

The Paradox Of Men
• If they pay for dinner, you are using them.
• If you pay for dinner, you are trying to embarrass them.

• If you make less money than them, you have to do all of the housework.
• If you make more money than them, you are a ball-breaker and still have to do all of the housework.

• If they want sex, they won't let you sleep.
• If you want sex, they won't wake up.

• If you choose an article of clothing that they don't like, you don't care about their taste.
• If you ask them for help in choosing an article of clothing they do like, they tell you to dress however you want.

• If you are polite & friendly to their friends, they want to know why you are coming on to their friends.
• If you are distant and reserved to their friends, they want to know why you don't like their friends.