Powered By Blogger

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Awesome story...Just love this...

Old Story:

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and
laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool
and laughs dances plays the summer away. Come winter, the Ant is warm and
well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the
cold.



New Indian Version:

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and
laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool
and laughs dances plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands
to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others
are cold and starving.

NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper
next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with
food.

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor
Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house.

Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that
Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter .

Mayawati states this as 'injustice' done on Minorities.

Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticize the Indian Government for
not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the
Grasshopper (many promising Heaven & Everlasting Peace for prompt support
as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) .

Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for 'Bengal Bandh' in
West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.

CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in
the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and
Grasshoppers.

Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway
Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the 'Prevention of Terrorism Against
Grasshoppers Act'[POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the winter..

Arjun Singh makes 'Special Reservation' for Grasshoppers in Educational
Institutions in Government Services.

The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left
to pay his retroactive taxes, it's home is confiscated by the Government
and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV, BBC, CNN.

Arundhati Roy calls it 'A Triumph of Justice'.

Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice'.

CPM calls it the 'Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden'

Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.


Many years later...

The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar
company in Silicon Valley ,

100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere
in India ,

....AND

As a result of losing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the
grasshoppers, India is still a developing country...!!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Advanced Currency Converter

by borrowisely.com

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Not a chauvinist, but first post I came across about men...

A man only needs to be:

1. A friend 2. A companion 3. A lover 4. A brother 5. A father 6. A master
7. A chef 8. An electrician 9. A carpenter 10. A plumber 11. A mechanic
12. A decorator 13. A stylist 16. A psychologist 17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist 19. A healer 20. A good listener 21. An organizer
22. A good father 23. Very clean 24. Sympathetic 25. Athletic 26. Warm
27. Attentive 28. Gallant 29. Intelligent 30. Funny 31. Creative 32. Tender
33. Strong 34. Understanding 35. Tolerant 36. Prudent 37. Ambitious 38. Capable
39. Courageous 40. Determined 41. True 42. Dependable 43. Passionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

44. Give her compliments regularly 45. Love shopping
46. Be honest 47. Be very rich 48. Not stress her out
49. Not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, MUST ALSO:

50. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

53. Never to forget:
* Birthdays
* Anniversaries
* Arrangements she makes

&

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:

1. just Leave him alone

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

A new city again!!!

It was the last week of june, summer was at its peak in my native place. I took a train that takes me to hyderabad, yeah I am going to hyderabad where I was supposed do my internship. I was offered internship at Health management and research institute(HMRI), in their web development team. I dont know much about web development or what it is except for some vague idea we get from the name.
Next morning I woke up in Hyderabad station, also known as nampally station. I came out and was flocked by a group of auto-walas trying to impress me. They wanted their boni(first business in the morning) to be good and so they started quoting only round figures some of which actually shocked me. I am not used to these kind of places in my native place, where you give 30 rs to an auto wala and he can drop you at the other end of the city. One autowala looking decent than others approached me as I cleared my way through the greedy autowalas and said " kidhar jaana hai sir". I said "KPHB". He said "250 sir". I could see the meter in the auto and asked why he doesnt take me on auto fare. He said "Early in the morning sir, we take 1 1/2 times. Jaana hai?". Slowly calculating the approximate distance it could be from nampally to kphb and at the same time being cautious that they might spot me to be an outsider, I said " 50 rs istha". He took a deep breathe " mazaak kar rahe ho? idhar se kphb pachaas rupaye? ....". I couldn't make out what he was murmering in the end. I couldn't understand the hyderabadi hindi he was speaking which is a mixed breed between hindi, urudu and telugu.
Finally one autowala took me to my destination for the meter price which was around 150. I paid him and he left. For the first few days I did nothing but take rest, eat and sleep.
My office was in RTC crossroads which was around 14 Km from the place I stay. On the first day when I came out on the road, I didnt know what bus to take, where the buses would stop, where I am supposed to get down. For the first few days I had to take autos which were costly compared to my native place. HMRI a so called private company with all the features of a govt office, except that the building is all centrally air conditioned and there is a strict security.
Office was really good, but for me and my friend vikas who was another intern along with me, office sucked. We were waiting near the receptionist lobby, where a couple of chairs were put for the visitors. We had to wait there, and occasionally would get the chance to sit. Finally we were allotted a place, we were put in a team where they were doing some assembly or modifications(whatever you might call) to some electronic equipment. We being from a software background couldnt make head or tail of it. So daily we would give attendance and go to the first floor of the building where a room has been allocated to the PS1 students from our campus. They were given a good room with AC and internet. And I could see any bitsian boy/girl given these facilities can make the most of them. They started playing AOE on lan from morning to evening. So even I joined them in their pursuit of proper usage of net. This happiness didnt last long, before even we could contribute in their pursuit whole heartedly, they had to leave. Somehow managed to crawl through the time and as the days passed slowly, they told us that we are going to another branch not very far from the main branch but a place where only software team would be there and that we were to be put in a web development team.
So by now I was able to findout how to reach my office with min cost, "The MMTS". First day when I took the mmts from hitech city station to lakdi ka pool, I was crushed and I feared a bone or two might have been broken. So I strongly decided to go by first class even though the ticket is a bit expensive, how expensive? "Expensive by 25 times". Normal ticket was 2Rs and first class ticket costed 50Rs. I was travelling now in first class from hitech city to lakdi ka pool, and from there took an auto that costed me 20 bucks. Still this is costly. After first couple of days, the girl in the counter said, "sir you can take a first class pass if you are travelling between the same points daily". Thus I started travelling wisely at a far cheaper price....To be contd....

Nine Important words you need to learn

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Beware of the truth!!

Once a rich man bought a robot, which slaps everytime someone lies. One day this man asked his son, "Son, whats your position in your class?", son replied" always first daddy". Immediately the robot stepped forward and slapped the boy, dad said" See when I was your age I always came first", again robot came and slapped the dad. Son started laughing loudly seeing this. Mom not knowing whats knowing there, comes and says" Son you shouldn't laugh at your dad like that". Immediately robot slaps her.... :P :P :P

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Men are Men!!!

The Paradox Of Men
• If they pay for dinner, you are using them.
• If you pay for dinner, you are trying to embarrass them.

• If you make less money than them, you have to do all of the housework.
• If you make more money than them, you are a ball-breaker and still have to do all of the housework.

• If they want sex, they won't let you sleep.
• If you want sex, they won't wake up.

• If you choose an article of clothing that they don't like, you don't care about their taste.
• If you ask them for help in choosing an article of clothing they do like, they tell you to dress however you want.

• If you are polite & friendly to their friends, they want to know why you are coming on to their friends.
• If you are distant and reserved to their friends, they want to know why you don't like their friends.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

LOL S/E companies

Cognizant Method :

Hire a lion... ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.

give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.
hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit
give them same gobi 65 to eat
hire 200 more....... and more .......


TCS method:

Hire a lion
give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary lion dies of hunger and frustration


IBM's metbod:

hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour... he dies of unemployment. ..


Syntel Method:

Hire a Cat ...
assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and make sure that he never reaches onsite.
Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....


MBT method:

hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score 60% he will lose the job.
Lion dies of the strain?


i-Flex method:

Hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes alive he will get band movement (promotion) holy cow dies in fear of the real lion.


Polaris Method:

hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ..
change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM)
cut down his allowance (coupons etc)
lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.....


Patni method:

hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...
the lion dies before joining....


Wipro Method:
Hire a Lion,
give him a mail Id.
he will die recieving stupid mails all day........! !!!


Accenture Method:

*Hire a lion.... **
Send him to chennai
Ask him to stay on bench for a long time
Ask him to eat idli,Dosa and Vada
No hindi, kannada or no other languages speaking ppl other than TAMIL...
No good food, No water..and specially No Beautiful girls
And say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger".
Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion......

Husbands silence is best with wife....

WIFE: 'What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
HUSBAND: 'Definitely not!
WIFE: 'Why not? Don't you like being married?'
HUSBAND: 'Of course I do.
WIFE: 'Then why wouldn't you remarry?
HUSBAND: 'Okay, okay, I'd get married again.'
WIFE: 'You would?'
HUSBAND: .......?
WIFE: 'Would you live in our house?'
HUSBAND: 'Sure, it's a great house.'
WIFE: 'Would you let her drive my car?'
HUSBAND: 'Probably, it is almost new.'
WIFE: 'Would you replace my pictures with hers?'
HUSBAND: 'That would seem like the proper thing to do.'
WIFE: 'Would you give her my jewelry?'
HUSBAND: 'No, I'm sure she'd want her own.'
WIFE: 'Would she wear my shoes'
HUSBAND: 'No, her size is 6.'
WIFE: -- silence .......
HUSBAND: 'shit'.

Work in Dark

I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave.
I thought that maybe if I acted 'Crazy' then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises.
My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing.
I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, 'What in the name of good GOD are you doing?'

I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, 'You are clearly stressed out.' Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.'
I jumped down and walked out of the office...
When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, '..And where do you think you're going?!'






















She said, 'I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark.'

Almighty

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Rich or Poor

Note(ofcourse at the beginning itself): Anyone out there with a perverted mind of serving the poor people, I advise you guys not to read this article.

"I asked my friend's little daughter what she wanted to be when she grows up.


She said she wanted to be Prime Minister some day.

Both her parents, Labour supporters, were standing there, so I asked her,"If you were Prime Minister what would be the first thing you would do?"
She replied, "I'd give food and houses to all those poor people on benefits." Her parents beamed, and said, "Welcome to the Labour Party!"

"That's a worthy goal!" I told her, and continued, "But you don't have to wait until you're Prime Minister to do that. You can come over to my house,mow the lawn, pull weeds, sweep my drive and I'll pay you �25. Then I'll take you over to that homeless chap who hangs out in front of the store. You can give him the �25 to use toward food."

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless man come over and do the work himself and you can just pay him the �25?""

This is India.
I am new to blogging, but after reading the above post somewhere I am deeply moved by the way the girl thinks. Just think guys, a small girl who doesnt know much about the world around her could think so sensibly what about us? I come across people asking me to donate generously for the cause of poor people. Why should we donate for poor people? Are they deprived of anything that a normal human is supposed to have? Are they disabled??
Some days back I was listening to some fm, and the program was about serving the poor. For 1 hour continuously I was listening, waiting to find atleast one reasonable caller who can say service is for disabled not for the poor. How did this foolishness creep into us? May be our Indian culture has taught us to give when someone doesnt!!
So lets pause a while and start thinking, Why is someone rich and why is someone poor???? Someone is rich because maybe his dad is/was rich, he has worked his ass out to earn that money. So why cant every poor guy in India work and earn his bread? Why should he beg? "Donors exist, beggars exist". When people are corrupt, people atleast ask money for the work they do(ofcourse anyway they are supposed to do). That is justifiable because they are greedy. But what about donating? We donate money just because we feel its something godly. We feel a sense of heroism in donating, and a tag added to that "generously". First we should understand, better not donate than to donate to some unworthy guy.
This blog is for me to write some crap and post. Anyone who doesnt agree with my feelings can just stfu and getlost. I am not requesting you to comment on my post.